The Round Robin From Hell

The Round Robin From Hell

as played here: http://youtu.be/4abLis15NVM

Dear Insert Name here, friend or relative

Apologies for the standard letter but that’s the way it is

This year’s been eventful and the only way to tell

Is to send the same thing to a bunch of people you don’t know as well

This year we’ll raise a toast to our health

As it wrinkles up its toes and falls off the shelf

The cat got rabies, the dog got shot, the gerbil got cancer

And I owe my life to a liver transplant from someone called Samantha

On top of that I stubbed my toe as well

Yours sincerely lots of love the Round Robin from hell

At this time of year it’s good to have the care of your family

Although I’m only assuming this because no one likes me

My daughter fell in love with a cage fighter called Jim

I disapproved, he broke my arms and now she’s married him

My work was annoying me and then it went bust

My bank was annoying me and then it went bust

They spent my pension and pay off on some city guy’s bonus

Now I can’t afford to pay the bills and that’s why you can’t phone us

And then I turned drugs and I’m under their spell

Yours sincerely love and kisses the Round Robin from hell

I have to sign off now before they lock me in my cell

I’m in prison or maybe hospital to be honest I can’t tell

I’ve got a crazy feeling that I did something wrong

Like burning down my house for insurance, or just murdering a song

Gonna pay for it with my life and my death as well

All yours, with smiley emoticons, the Round Robin from hell.

One Southville down, one to go

The BCOA teamed up with the Bristol Ukulele Club to deliver a fab performance for the Southville Centre's 20th birthday celebrations. We're now rummaging around the Xmas box in search of new inspiration...

To begin a new show...

In receipt of three music box type things. Also lining up a number of ukes. Raw material is ready, but I still need to actually, like, write something...

The party's over, the party's just beginning

Hiya

Thanks to everyone who came along to SOBMOS today. Really enjoyed it and I think the audience did too. Let me know what you thought and think about any aspect of it...

If you'd like a recording of the songs / CD or download let me know and I'll now try and sort something on that.

I'm also still open to other commissions and indeed never did get round to writing the song in which Barry White talks about meeting his babe in Asda nor the one about the feral chickens of Bedminster (and indeed Jack's duck).

The process continues.... as will this blog.

Last minute changes

Slight hiccough as a compere disappears - and we may have two ukes and now some asian percussion instruments to boot.

Getting to be a bit more eclectic which is always good.

Mixed bag

OK. So no piano accordion but there will be at least 3 ukuleles and I'm now eyeing up my stylophone... Sound checking at 3.30 during which time I'm assuming the bar will not be closed.

Facebook Page

Perhaps belatedly, but set up, none the less: http://on.fb.me/jh5J3O

Stop Press (or anything else)

Performance time is set as 'about 4pm' on Sunday 22nd May.

Be there (ish)

References and inclusions

Here, thus far are some things that will get a mention in SoB,MoS:

Oscar the cat, a magic wall, Aldi car parking fine, an espresso, the Budget Boozer, knitting, an allotment, a massage parlour, water, sea, slippers, Asda, Hebron Road, Stackpool, Tobacco, schools and Lidl.

It will be played on guitars and bass, a bunch of backing tracks, a couple of ukuleles (with luck) and possibly a piano accordion (STA).

Rock on. Send us your inspirations.....

BS3 is D.I.S.C.O

Suggestions required please for subject matter for a Disco number. Groove on down to Greville Smythe? Get on up and stay on the scene... at Bedminster Green?

Name that street in one

The Blatant Creation of Art quite fancy trying to write a song or poem or maybe haiku for as many streets as possible in the BS3 area. Choose your street right now.

Another brick in the wall

"I have an old piece of wall outside my house on the street and it has a few bricks missing. For about two years now I have been putting in little objects such as small toys, pictures, odd bits of jewellery, sometimes models and bits of art and all other manner of strange objects. This has proved a delight to small children who sometimes take the stuff and even replace it with their own tack. Mothers and carers tell me they like it because it is a stop off point on the way to school or an excuse to get children out of the house in the morning. In short, it has become a children's cave of curiosities. I haven't been able to document this happening but i would like to mark its existence in some way. Any ideas?"

press... and release

Have been penning a press release while waiting for next batch of promo cards to arrive. I've written loads of PRs but it's still weird to be writing one about yourself. Especially when you're quoting yourself. I feel I'm being too formal with myself by calling myself 'Mr' but suspect this will stay....

Inspiration...

I'll try and post the poster, but there's someone who lost their cat, found a cat they thought was theirs but have since discovered it really isn't their cat since (i) it doesn't like yoghurt (ii) it doesn't mind going to the vet (iii) it doesn't have a microchip (iv) it hasn't been neutered. It's a fantastic story (rather than the brief precis I give it here) is tied to various lamposts in Southville and demands a song. Something folky and olde myth methinks...

We have a rumour

Apparently, right, apparently there is a house high on Stackpool Road where the basement gets flooded at high tide causing a 'vortex' of water to swirl around down there until the waters recede. Is this true, we must ask. Is it an old wives' tale? Is it a tale told by an estate agent to sell a house in Hotwells? Is it worth a song? We need facts. We need another old wive.

A new beginning

So there I was, just getting out the guitar... wondering where to start... discovering that my amplifier doesn't appear to work unless it's lying on its back...  So that's where to start. New amplifiers, please.
Time to go lo-fi. Where's the banjo ukulele again, Dave?

How to start a show Blatantly

1: Get box.

2: Open the box.

3: Distribute. And I'm guessing here that you got one. So that bit's worked, then.

Current set list

Inspiration in so far:

The Aldi Car Park Lament

I do / don't want a new stadium, thanks (delete where applicable)

Inner BS3 town planning